An Abortion-Wounded Heart Restored: Turning a Painful Past into a Lifeline for Others
Fourteen years old and shattered, Sally carried a secret. Her home offered no sanctuary, only verbal and emotional abuse that forced her to hide her growing pregnancy in silence. Despite the fear and confusion, she clung to one conviction: she did not want an abortion. But that choice was stolen when a classmate told her parents.
“My mom flew into a rage,” remembers Sally. “She told my dad she was not raising another child and to get rid of it. I could do nothing but sob.”
Her parents took her to a clinic in New York City willing to terminate her pregnancy even at 24 weeks. There, her parents checked her in and vanished, leaving her utterly alone.
“The nurse came in and told me that I was going to have to go through labor and delivery,” Sally said. “I got to the point of feeling the urge to push and then I began to scream for help because I didn’t know anything about labor and nobody was coming to help.”
Unsure of what was happening, she got up to go to the bathroom and was shocked when the baby came out in the toilet.
It was a moment she would never stop thinking about – even decades later. Even after getting married and having three children, she grieved deeply for the tiny little boy who should have lived. In the years that followed the abortion, she was crushed by the weight of her shame and sadness. Then, 27 years after losing her baby, Sally went to church and picked up a bulletin as she went to take a seat.
“Out fell an insert from Care Net Pregnancy Center of Dane County that said, ‘Join our post-abortion healing study’ and I was like, ‘What? They’re going to talk about abortion here? I’m in. Sign me up.’ I was longing to heal.”
For years, the date of her abortion and the month he would have been born were shadowed by outbursts of anger and a heavy, aching sadness. She had tried so hard to bury the memory of her baby, but through the study, she finally found the strength to face the past. This year, the son she named Joshua would have been 51 years old.
“The best thing of all was being able to openly acknowledge that Joshua lived – that his life mattered, and that I could appropriately grieve for his lost life,” Sally explains. “I don’t carry secrets about him anymore and I’m 100% convinced of where I stand with Jesus, and with other loved ones in my life because of this freedom.”
As a certified facilitator for Forgiven and Set Free, she now leads other people who need healing from the same pain she carried for nearly 30 years. She wants women to know they can put shame behind them, acknowledge the life of their child and experience true forgiveness through Christ. She says, no matter your age, no matter your circumstances, healing is waiting for you to take a step.
“We need to be able to support women in these situations by saying, ‘I’m so sorry. I’m with you. Let’s walk this road and get you back to Jesus.”
Do you need healing after an abortion? At First Care Clinic, we’ve witnessed incredible journeys of transformation through our abortion recovery and support services. Whether your experience was recent or years ago, healing is possible. We offer compassionate support through an eight-week healing program, Forgiven and Set Free. Tell your story in a confidential setting and hear other women tell theirs. Begin to discover and make sense of the complicated and difficult emotions following abortion experiences. Gain coping skills and create a support system. The next group starts April 7 and will meet every Tuesday night 6 – 7:30pm. Register at carenetdane.org/events.